Go buy a ticket to a movie and sit somewhere near the front. Bring a small notepad, a pen, and make sure you're wearing glasses. Wait until the movie begins to bust all three out.
Now makes sure to spend just as much time watching the movie as you do jotting illegible notes into your notebook. Chew on the end of your pen in between scenes. Adjust your glasses every so often too. Make sure everyone around you can see what you're doing. If nobody notices, start talking to yourself and saying "hmm" a lot.
This will let everyone know that you're too good to just watch movies. Yeah, those people will walk out of "Step Up 3D" knowing that they were missed out on a whole level of depth, and that their puny brains will never be able to see movies like you do.
Just last night there was a kid talking really loud in the row in front of me and I scissor kicked him so hard the 3D glasses are now permanently embedded in his skull. I laughed so hard I peed a little.
Being blind and deaf, I didn't really care for movies until Scott Newton took me to Inception. Sure, I was skeptical at first -- but before long I was having the best time of my life as he transcribed the movie and three others that he was re-watching from memory into Braille in real-time while building a scale model of Limbo out of popcorn and Twizzlers for me to explore and then eat.
ReplyDeleteWhile he's since restored my sight and hearing, I've never had as much fun watching a film.