Hey kids, it's time for another lesson in "How to be Better Than Everyone Else".
Today's tip: Make bold claims and statements that can't possibly be right, but nobody will be able to refute. This makes you look extremely knowledgeable and outrageously in-the-know.
"Hey guys, 3 months out of the year, Oregon has the best beaches in the world."
Who the fuck can argue with that? Nobody's even been to Oregon, why would they? It's fuckin' Oregon. See what I did there? Don't say something that's easily disproven like, "Las Vegas is the only place in the world with wasabi flavored condoms." People have been to Vegas. And I own like 3 different brands of wasabi flavored condoms from, like, 2 cities that aren't Vegas. Too obvious.
Oregon beaches. Brilliant.
My body is a wonderland.
~Scott
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